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Writer's pictureChris Miller

Intrusive Versus Engaged Leadership: What’s the Missing Ingredient?

Chris Miller is currently serving as a Battalion Command Sergeant Major. Based on his passion for teaching and mentoring, Chris recently served as an Instructor at the Joint Special Operations University Enlisted Academy. Paying it forward and giving back is a gift and passion of Chris'. He cannot tell you how mentorship can change an individual's life trajectory because he is a living witness to it!

Genuine Leadership

As I sit back and reminisce about my days as a junior Soldier, I can't help but remember the numerous times in a typical week that my leaders carved out the time to ensure the unit had everything they needed to be successful. Whether he was conducting a room or vehicle inspection, he always took the time to ask, "What plans do you have for the weekend?" He created an open-ended discussion panel called "Squad Talk," where we talked about any and everything. This occurred at work or the leader's home during cookouts or events like the Superbowl. Some may say, "They were really in our business." Still, as a young Soldier on his own for the first time, I felt my leadership genuinely cared about me both personally and professionally. As a result, over time, I trusted them to guide me in my newly found career, and dare I say it, I trusted them with my life. 


Is that level of trust from the junior Soldier to the leader still there today? Do Soldiers trust their leadership with the most intimate things affecting their lives personally and professionally? In my experience as a Battalion Command Sergeant Major, the level of trust I speak of from my early years was absent in the past year. As a result, leaders in the current environment are viewed as intrusive rather than engaged. Leaders need to add the missing ingredient back into the leadership recipe: trust. I will assert there is a distinct difference between being an intrusive leader and being an engaged leader. The term intrusive leader has a negative connotation and should not be associated with the term leader. Until leaders get back to the basics of engaging with their subordinates and incorporating the missing ingredient of trust inside and outside of work that enhances the flavor of leadership, we will continue to have Soldiers who view leadership as intrusive, meddling individuals whom they do not trust nor feel genuinely care for them as a person. 


Current Conditions

            The Generation Z Cohort Soldiers flooding today's military ranks and millennials serving in middle and senior-level leadership positions are products of their environment. Sadly, some are imitating the leadership they experienced as junior Soldiers. As a result, we are seeing a generation of leaders where the atrophy of knowledge, skills, and experience to perform effective and engaging leadership leaves junior Soldiers feeling leaders do not care about them. This creates trust issues in leaders, and they appear intrusive when asking about sensitive matters without a previous relationship.


Desired Conditions

A desired state is engaged leaders. Leaders who are constantly interested in their subordinates inside and outside of work build trust so that when a person has a problem and hard questions are asked, they are not viewed as intrusive, meddlesome, or prying.


Problem

            Shifting from a perceived intrusive leader to an engaged leader environment will not occur overnight. While there are numerous challenges to achieving the desired state, identifying and exploring various opportunities will ensure we reach the desired statement directly in front of the leaders' eyes.


Challenges

            I have identified two challenges preventing leaders from being perceived as engaged leaders. The first challenge I have observed lies with the current generation of Soldiers, and the second challenge is that the younger generation fears verbal confrontation and unpleasant conversations. 


           The Gen Z generation has had its fair share of volatile ups and downs, which affected their aspirations and thinking. As new Soldiers, they are simply looking for work-life balance, purpose in their new careers, consistency, and stability. So, when a leader is inconsistent in their actions, words, and deeds, the younger generation views these individuals as unstable and untrustworthy. They are thinking, "If the only time you come around is to bark orders or become upset with me because you, as my leader, have to inspect my packing list for the field, why would I want to tell you my most private details? I don't trust you!” 

The second challenge involves secure messaging apps like Signal and WhatsApp, which have become the platform for internal unit communication. This type of communication resonates with the younger generation as it replicates their daily lives engulfed with social media strolling. Rather than communicating via voice, they can send a message, a meme, or a thumbs up to acknowledge the instructions provided. Additionally, the younger generation feels talking on the phone is intrusive and takes up too much time as they prefer to text. However, in the military, face-to-face conversation is the most preferred. When a Junior Soldier is placed into a difficult discussion, the stress and anxiety levels go through the roof, and some leaders feel as though they are pulling teeth to get to the root cause of the problem. The person asking the questions can be viewed as asking too many, hence the perception the leader is being intrusive.


Opportunities

While I have listed a few challenges, I have also identified a few opportunities leaders can leverage to reach the desired state of being an engaged leader. The first and easiest to implement is merely demonstrating concern for others. If you are genuine, people feel it, and a bond can slowly form. Most individuals have a Ph.D. in "peopleology" and can smell when you are fake, checking the block, and simply not authentic. The second opportunity is for leaders to acknowledge consistency and predictability as keys to trust building. Lastly, when conversing with junior soldiers, leaders should actively listen and possess the ability to display empathy in every situation they are faced with.


Problem Statement

How do today's leaders harness the secret ingredient of trust to be viewed as engaged leaders versus intrusive leaders?


Approach 

            Leaders have several opportunities to overcome challenges and leverage opportunities in the current state to attain the desired state discussed in this paper.


Get Back to Basics

            Leaders must make time to get back to the basics. I can think of two daily examples of engaging with your Soldiers that should seem routine to them: conducting physical training WITH them and getting to know them. You should not expect your Soldiers to do something you are unwilling to do yourself. This simple gesture can build trust because you are out there engaging in something demanding and challenging, which can strengthen bonds among the group. Second, at the end of each day, ask, "What do you have planned for the rest of the evening or weekend? This simple question can insert you into your Soldier's world outside the office. Is the Soldier into sports, video games, or taking college courses after work, or do they prefer alone time in the barracks? You will know once you ask. As you consistently ask these questions, you will learn more about your Soldiers and can start the morning with a follow-up question that can build more trust.


Bring Order to Chaos

            If you are inconsistent, unorganized, and all over the place, so will your subordinates, which will stress everyone out. Be the buffer for your junior Soldiers, and if the information needs to be clarified for higher levels, use your experience to ask questions that will fill in the gaps and equip your Soldiers to thrive in today’s environment. 


Approach with Empathy and Respect

            Notice I stated empathy rather than sympathy. Let's face it: the pandemic took a toll on the Gen Z population, and to put it bluntly, they missed out on considerable milestones in their youth. So, I can empathize with their generation when they come into my office with things I may not honestly see as severe, but to them, it is an emotional event. I always listen intently and give them all my attention. I am not shuffling papers, reviewing emails, or answering my phone in the middle of the conversation. If the opportunity presents itself, turn your empathy meter up and engage wholeheartedly with dignity and respect as your watchwords.

Conclusion

We live in a fast-paced environment, and essential leadership traits have atrophied. As a result, leaders in the current environment are viewed as intrusive rather than engaged leaders. They need to add the missing ingredient back into the leadership recipe: trust. By getting back to the basics, bringing order to chaos, and simply approaching situations with junior Soldiers with empathy and respect, we can create an environment where junior Soldiers feel their leadership genuinely cares about them personally and professionally. Over time, Soldiers will once again trust them to guide them in their newly found career and, dare I say it, trust them with their life when the leadership soup is again seasoned with the missing ingredient of trust.

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