Today’s article is from Virginia Bailey, a Major and Audiologist in the U. S. Army who is currently serving at Fort Wainwright, Alaska. During her time there she became one of our eMMissaries and also co-founded a mentoring initiative called The 72C Fire Team Mentorship Program for Army Audiologists. Her message to us here in an indelible one – keep your eyes on the prize.
Growing up, my father always told me to focus on one thing: Me. This definitely included important life things such as how I dress, how I carry myself and getting good grades in school, but it also had the unspoken advice of working hard towards my goals no matter what happened or what someone may say to discourage me. Having always believed that my parents only wanted the best for me, I took his words merely as another token of advice and as a child those words honestly did not mean as much then as they do now.
Today, I look back upon my childhood and see how my father’s words motivated me to push forward regardless of what obstacles came my way. While the encouragement was definitely needed and truly paid off, there was a piece that should have been added to this guidance. There was something I now feel was a missing link – I needed to find and be connected with people who would help and motivate me along life’s journey. Back then my family was there, friends were there, and I had goals, plans, and aspirations. I thought, “What else could one need?” As I grew in age and maturity, however, I began to realize what this missing piece was – mentorship.
Principle’s List, Honor Roll, Homecoming Court, AP classes, sports, band – I did a little bit of it all. From getting accepted into my dream school for undergrad to being honored by the selection to the rank of Major in the United States Army, I have reached many goals and accomplished amazing things. Focusing on “the prize” was and still is important, but it is also vital to have others involved in the process of growth. We must invite people around us that can broaden our narrowly focused eyes to see and be open to new options or ideas.
True mentors did not come into my story until I became a member of the professional world. It was about that time when I reached the five year mark of my military career. Yes, there were people before this time who helped guide me in the right direction, but they mainly served in a coaching role. By recently learning the differences (and similarities) between coaches, teachers, and mentors, I am able to now look back and see who fit into each one of these categories in my life. There are also those who I felt were mentors that actually were not.
As a young black female professional there were many times where I would be the only one in the room. I have looked around many times in classrooms, volunteer events, graduate school open houses, and the people around me did not look like me at all. This was not contained only in my professional life – I also found that mentorship was a missing link in my personal life. Broadly speaking, mentorship is also missing amongst the black female community. This is a topic that should continually be brought to the table and improved upon. The issue is not that there is a lack of individuals who could serve in the capacity of a mentor, so I’ll leave it to you to contemplate why mentorship is lacking in the community I find myself in by birth and not necessarily by choice…
I want to change things. I want to give back. I want to be one who shares stories, experiences, successes, and failures with those who have goals, dreams, and aspirations of “making it”. I want this for people who look like me for sure, but also for anyone willing to receive whatever I have the capacity to give. There is a young girl somewhere working to plan out her life. She’s afraid of disappointing someone, having to change her plans, or failing altogether. A little girl who is not sure exactly what she needs to do, yet would grow, thrive, and feed off of a solid relationship with someone who is there to work with her, ultimately becoming a part of her life. It is okay to be transparent, to share real stories, and to be open with others. Many people are afraid of sharing and being vulnerable. Fear could be the thing that is holding back those who otherwise would be amazing mentors. For me, growing up, success was the only option. In my eyes, failure was not.
Being one who does not like to give up or admit that I did not succeed along the way, I have learned that is it okay to fail. It is also okay to share failure with others and to admit that the goal which was set was not reached. Today, as I have done for many years, I still work to plan out my life, keeping my eyes on the prize, but I also work to periodically take off my blinders in order to take a look at other options and opportunities and see who else I can bring along for the journey. Most of the time these moments of revelation do not come from within – there has been someone there who helped guide me. Our journeys in life do not have to be traveled alone. Finding and connecting with mentors is vital to becoming comfortable with pulling away from our usual laser beam focus on some well-thought out path and venturing out to try something that otherwise would not have been thought of nor attempted – and that is where the true prize comes from.
Keep your eyes on the prize.