Photo by Kelly Sikkema on Unsplash
“If you want to go fast; go alone. If you want to go far; go together.” – African Proverb
Take a moment to thoughtfully answer the following: What is the hardest thing that you’ve ever done? What are you most proud of?
Got it? My guess is that it’s not on your resume (or not obvious).
When I was on active duty, I used to measure a person through the flair on their uniform. To my younger self, they were like plates on a barbell. From before we even enter the military, we are told that strength and toughness are synonymous with elite units and these accoutrements. In my immaturity, I earned a few badges and tabs, too, but they could not fill the void in my self-esteem.
I am quick to tell people that those schools weren’t very hard. I’d say things like “I’m a nerd, not an athlete. It doesn’t require anything special.” As I reflect on those experiences, I am convinced that the hardest part of Ranger School was showing up.
Fear can be paralyzing. It’s far easier to simply not try than to risk failing (or quitting) and disappointing yourself, family, friends, and bosses. It’s better to not be tested than to fall short; and excuses abound. This is why we find expressions such as “The man in the arena” so resonant – we celebrate those who dare to try.
For me, launching Military Mentors with Chevy was another sort of test of character. Ranger School is hard because they strip away many of your basic needs. In Maslow’s hierarchy, these are at the very bottom: food, sleep, and shelter.
I can only speak for myself, but launching Military Mentors was emotionally hard. As I mentioned, I’ve struggled with self-esteem and it is much higher on Maslow’s hierarchy of needs. Like trust, it is earned in drops and lost in buckets. I believed in the idea, but I struggled to make myself vulnerable and to risk failing – spilling that carefully collected bucket. Would this change how others valued and respected us?
In the years since launch, my life has pulled me away from Military Mentors. I left active duty, started a family, and have struggled to dedicate time to this project as it passed through the chasm of despair. In military parlance, I was faint-hearted and had to take a knee. Had I been alone, that would have been the end.
Yet here we are on the cusp of 2020 – a year sure to be filled with optometry puns. In our 4th year, Military Mentors has flourished in the humble ways that Chevy and I had created it for: connecting and inspiring more military leaders than ever to grow themselves and support others. Our small, consistent rituals like the #ABookAMonth challenge and #GratiTuesday have accumulated – like raindrops – into a steady cascade of professional development and thanksgiving that have inspired many.
I am simply beyond grateful for the people who have stepped forward in the last year to join us on this journey. You have helped shoulder the burden. Mother Theresa once said that “people crave appreciation more than they crave bread.” With that said, I’d like to show my appreciation.
First, thank you Omar, Jamie, Chris, and Sean for an amazing year. Thank you for improving our content, for our public engagements, and for the new projects lined-up for 2020.
Second, thank you to the readers and followers who have stepped forward to be part of our inaugural eMMisary cohort. We started this project with the simple belief that other people wanted the tools and knowledge to better serve others. Your commitment and shared purpose are what inspires our work each day.
I am also deeply grateful for our board of advisors who share their time and wisdom to mentor us. Your strength gives us all strength.
Lastly, thank you Chevy for your relentless investment in people (including me). You never quit and never let me either. You’re the best Ranger buddy I could have asked for. Thank you for showing me the true measure of strength. Together this team will go further than we imagined. Here’s to our 5th year. Ever onward!
tart a conversation. Spark a transformation.