Mentoring the Great Divide

I recently witnessed an interaction between two members of a high functioning team which, after a long period of no growth, had expanded and brought on newer, younger staff. The mentor had become frustrated by their inability to reach a younger mentee, and the younger mentee was disinterested in the older mentor's advice and offerings. The younger sees the older as an obstacle to change, not understanding the mentor's intentions as genuine. Recurring conflicts and adversarial conversations left the mentor perplexed about why the young mentee wasn’t getting it, and the younger person was wondering the same. All too often, this is the case when the new (and frequently younger) and the old come together, assumptions are made, walls go up, and the effort is lost. Although the generational divide is often presented as an age-based divide, the same truths can apply within groups with long service or low turnover as they attempt to transition new staff into the group. Ideals, values, and historical knowledge may be seen as barriers to new and outside perspectives, disrespectful or challenging to the effort or work produced by the older. Mentoring across generations (age or wisdom) offers a powerful path for mutual growth, knowledge sharing, and program sustainability. Commonalities in interests or hobbies within a similar-aged pairing can be more difficult when age differences are present, leaving the differences as the focus. Bridging the generational gap, particularly in a peer-to-peer mentoring relationship, requires intention and a commitment to creating opportunities that allow both the mentor and mentee to thrive.

Agree on the Why: 

Mentorship basics are often overlooked or assumed, but defining parameters early on helps provide direction and ensure both parties are aligned on their objectives. Establish clear expectations and mutually agreed-upon goals, the what and why we are here. What are the specific areas of development or knowledge transfer they want to focus on? What does each hope to gain, and what are they willing to invest?  What one person considers valuable or motivates them may differ greatly from what motivates others. Assuming what matters to me matters to you may create conflict and lead to a misguided approach. Where technical skills are required, mentees often know them but lack the experience or confidence to apply them in dynamic situations, creating a need for more coaching than mentoring. If this is the case, establishing an understanding of this reality prior can reduce conflict and resentment should it arise.

Get personal:

Both individuals need to share their experiences and attempt to appreciate the context in which those experiences were formed. This conversation may require more effort than a pairing of similar ages. Prior knowledge and skills should not be minimized and should be recognized as just as valuable as those learned in the current environment. Understanding the impact of personal and cultural experiences and how they may have shaped mindset and behaviors is crucial in any relationship, especially when generations may offer perspectives that are not intuitive to the other. Everyone has lived through events, cultural change at work or in their community, and economic factors that influence them. Being honest about how this may have impacted both their personal and professional views may be difficult, but it is necessary. Acknowledging potential differences in values, priorities, and life stages can lead to a deeper understanding of motivations, as well as the challenges and opportunities that may arise during the mentorship. This understanding can assist mentors in developing a more intentional approach to supporting individual needs while avoiding misguided organizational and cultural practices.

Learn from each other:

Resist the urge to view the relationship solely as an expert imparting wisdom to a novice. This can be a natural tendency when the age difference is noticeable, and if not acknowledged early, it can quickly erode into sentiments of a parent-child relationship.  Back to why we are here: each should identify what they wish to learn from one another, making a point to revisit this throughout the mentorship. Successful intergenerational mentoring lies in recognizing that learning is a reciprocal process. Encouraging opportunities for reverse mentoring can be incredibly beneficial for bridging the generational gap and promoting a culture of continuous learning or knowledge sharing when gaps within the larger group have been identified. In areas where best practice is constantly evolving, and clinical or technical proficiency is required, experienced providers improve by pairing experiential learning with new and emerging practice. Mentees continually push and inform the mentor to be current with new and advancing skills (think medical residents in teaching hospitals). Vulnerabilities on both sides of the relationship build a culture of excellence, demonstrating a shared interest in learning and continuous improvement. The transition from new to norm is exponential.

Cliché, but it requires acknowledging that technology often represents a significant divide between the generations. If intentional, it can also be the connector. Younger individuals are typically comfortable navigating a wide range of platforms and adapting or incorporating them into workflows. While the assumption of inability due to age should be avoided, older generations may have varying levels of familiarity with or comfort with current practice. Mentors can be more supportive by adopting new technologies, and mentees can help mentors understand innovations and their potential impact. Capitalizing on the strengths of the other equalizes the balance of power within the relationship.

Talk about Talking:

Effective communication is the foundation for any mentoring relationship, and it becomes even more critical when generational differences are involved. Create an environment where both individuals feel comfortable sharing their thoughts and ideas without judgment, and are encouraged to really understand each other’s perspectives. Encourage openness to new ideas and approaches, and to communicate needs and challenges early.  It is important to identify how feedback or advice will be shared, the language to be used, and even communication preferences —whether via email, video calls, face-to-face, or text. It is easy to misinterpret unanswered calls as indifference when text or emails are preferred. Discussion should also include not only how to communicate, but when. Different generations may have different opinions on work-life balance, boundaries regarding work relationships, and contact. Being open and honest can offset conflict caused by assumptions and inferences. 

Celebrate the wins:

Acknowledge and celebrate successes, regardless of how small they may seem. When performance is good, smaller things may be overlooked or minimized because they are expected. Acknowledgement reinforces the value and effort of the partnership, sets an example of a supportive framework, and builds resiliency in both individuals. Understanding that acknowledgment and rewards may be viewed very differently between the generations, so too may criticism. It is important to frame challenges as learning opportunities for both when they arise. Mentors can serve as role models by sharing vulnerabilities or areas for improvement, demonstrating the ability to grow at any stage. Reframing the conversation from what you need to do to get better to how we get better together can create a more collaborative problem-solving approach. This is important for reinforcing peer-to-peer support, de-emphasizing the hierarchical mentor relationship, and reducing the likelihood of feeling like a scorned child. 

By being intentional with these strategies, meaningful and impactful mentoring relationships can thrive. These connections not only benefit the individuals but also contribute to a more cohesive, innovative, and inclusive work environment where the value of experience and new perspectives merge.  

With over 25 years of dedicated service as a paramedic and clinical educator, Keely has established a prominent career in emergency medical services in Alberta's largest metropolitan center. Throughout her extensive career, Keely has played a pivotal role in piloting many large-scale projects and specialty care teams within EMS. She is passionate about developing talent and expertise within a diverse, rapidly expanding workforce, leveraging innovative training methods and evidence-based practices to foster an inclusive environment that values diverse perspectives and experiences. Her current work focuses on developing a mentorship program for employees and leadership at various stages of development. Keely is married with two busy preteen boys who consider themselves pro athletes.  When not working or volunteering with sports associations, she enjoys spending time with her family in the mountains, biking, camping, and snowboarding.