Wesley Bailey is currently an Assistant Director of Business Continuity at Dallas College and is currently pursuing a Doctorate in Philosophy (PhD) in Public Administration & Public Policy from The University of Texas at Arlington. His current research focus is on public policies that build resilience at the city, state, and local levels, during increasingly turbulent times.
Introduction
The parenting styles that our parents, or caretakers, utilized when we were being raised have significant implications on the courses our lives take. In the book Unequal Childhoods, Annette Lareau identifies, and distinguishes between, two different parenting styles known as “Concerted Cultivation” and the “Accomplishment of Natural Growth”. Those first few years of life tend to have an enduring impression on a person’s worldview. These parenting styles also impact how a person interacts with supervisors, peers, and the employees that report them. To take this concept a step further, it is also possible that parenting styles impact a person’s willingness and effectiveness in seeking out mentorship opportunities in their personal and professional lives. This concept is important because receiving and providing mentorship has the potential to create rewarding and meaningful relationships for those involved. This paper will attempt to illuminate the differences in mentorship attainment and how it may impact a person’s career and personal development.
Concerted Cultivation
Concerted Cultivation is the parenting style that is typically utilized by middle-class families. In this parenting style children are encouraged to negotiate, have discussions, and question authority. Children in these environments are enrolled to participate in extensively organized activities. As a result of concerted cultivation, children have a better chance at success in middle-class careers, learn to question those in authority, are groomed to be comfortable while in discussions with authority figures, and help them build a large vocabulary. A possible drawback to this style of child-rearing is that it tends to impart in the children a sense of entitlement.
Based on the tendencies that are developed in concerted cultivation, there are some possible implications on a person’s willingness to seek out mentoring opportunities. First, communication is one of the building blocks of relationships. Therefore, the willingness to ask questions of authority figures may develop into a relationship where a more senior person would want to take a junior employee under their tutelage. Second, people who have a sense of entitlement believe that they deserve resources that they may not have earned. As a result, people will more aggressively seek out mentorship because they may subconsciously believe that they deserve more guidance and attention.
The Accomplishment of Natural Growth
The accomplishment of natural growth is the parenting style typically utilized by working-class and lower-class families. In this parenting style parents issue directives to their children, rather than negotiate. These parents tend to encourage the trusting and following of people in authority positions. Rather than structure their children's daily activities, this parenting style allows their children to play on their own. This method of child-rearing helps children to become independent at a younger age, trains children to respect and take the advice of people in authority and prepares the children for a job in the "working" or "poor class" professions.
Based on the tendencies that are developed in the accomplishment of natural growth, there are some possible implications on a person’s willingness to seek out mentoring opportunities. First, the tendency to respect and take the advice of people in authority is not the same as obtaining mentorship. This simply means that these children are highly adept at taking direction from their managers, and it may cause them to be unwilling to inquire about mentorship opportunities. Second, becoming independent early on in life may cause these people to feel as though they can figure most things out on their own without the aid of a mentor. As a result, these people may grow up to be less assertive about seeking mentorship because they may subconsciously believe they can figure life out on their own just as they did when they were children.
Reframe – You don’t have to go it alone
You may have been raised in an environment where you had to learn on your own to survive. People in these situations tend to mature quickly and adapt even faster. You were directly, or indirectly, taught to stay out of trouble, do as you are told, and work hard to achieve your goals in life. After some success on your own, it may be tempting to believe that you have figured out how to navigate the world alone. However, it is always important to seek out people who have achieved what you are looking to achieve. These people can help you to figure out the process necessary to start, endure, and accomplish that outcome.
The type of mentoring that works for one person may not work for you. Therefore, take the steps necessary to find a mentor that can work well with you. It can be tempting to seek out only those people that you find fun or enjoyable to be around. Though having a good connection with your mentor is important, it is not the only thing to look for. This is especially true when looking for a mentor to give you guidance in an area that requires that you push beyond your comfort zone. In that context, you may want a mentor that tells you what you need to hear and not what you want to hear so that you can achieve your goals. Lastly, seek opportunities to give gratitude to your mentors and prepare yourself for the possibility that you may become a mentor someday.
Quick Summary
It appears that people who were raised with concerted cultivation may have learned behaviors that make them more likely to seek mentoring from others.
Those people who were raised with the accomplishment of natural growth seem to have developed behaviors that make them less likely to seek mentoring from others.
When appropriate, seek mentorship from those who have achieved what you are looking to achieve, or who have the knowledge base to help you figure out the process.
Seek opportunities to give gratitude to your mentors and prepare yourself for the possibility that you may become a mentor someday.
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