This latest post, on the eve of Mother’s Day, reminds us that we can find leadership and mentorship outside of the uniform… often times right in front of our noses in our families. How often do we pause and really think about the selfless acts of those around us, nearest to our heart? Author Drew Cortesio, an Air Force Major, asks us to do so.
After more than a decade on active duty, including garrison and contingency experience across the globe and range of military operations, witnessing numerous leadership examples and reading umpteen books on the topic, I am compelled to share the story of the greatest leadership influences on my life: three generations of women in my maternal family lineage.
First and foremost, the foundational matriarch, my “Granny Jewell,” was absolutely selfless, laboring with depression-era diligence and grateful for every single thing. She rose early and stayed up late to make sure we had everything we needed for work the next day. She would handwrite a note and slip it in your lunchbox to make you feel special. She spent quiet time each morning in thought and prayer about her family, community and country and signed off in her beautiful penmanship “Take care, I care” and meant it. She always made enough food to share and taught us that “this too shall pass.” Personally and professionally, Jewell cared for others for more than seven decades earning perhaps the best compliment ever, considering the source – my Grandpa Louie Cortesio, who said, “they really named her right.”
Next is my mom, Carol. She worked 60-80 hours a week in the restaurant and hospitality industry during my formative years. Like her mother before her, she cares for and loves others in a truly unique way. She not only learned her team members’ stories but also those of their families as well. She regularly fed them, fought to raise their wages and their quality of life, and as a result, she earned their trust and loyalty. Without the formal education or fancy title she earned many times over, she always went the extra mile and put a personal touch on whatever event she was executing. It is no wonder that success followed her everywhere we moved.
Last and certainly not least is my sister Anna. Her intellect, patience, and wisdom span well beyond her years. Always present, she is thoughtful in every word and deed, kind to others, dedicating much of her time with those different than her, both old and young. At any given time in her classroom, she would have twenty-something students from at least a dozen different countries. During a visit to the Roots Garden at Laney College in Oakland, she showed me how smiles and laughter are cross-cultural. Anna lives her values deliberately and intentionally every day and is the most wonderful human being that I know. With humility, she’ll give credit to others, but those of us who interact with her know who truly has the profoundly positive impact on the environment around them.
What can we learn from these examples?
From my lens, influential leaders through the crises of today are not the traditional heroic actors or eloquent orators who appear to have it all together. Instead, they are good listeners who are empathetic and understand where others are coming from and admit their vulnerabilities in order to relate. Not c-suite silo dwellers, but gardeners who get some earth on their hands by cultivating those around them.
We have read here before that you cannot become in thirty minutes what you have not been for thirty years. What small steps can you take? Carry a journal and write down people’s names. Stop and genuinely ask how neighbors are doing and listen patiently for their reply. Take the time to write and mail a handwritten note to an old friend or mentor. One small request: please be authentic or do not do anything at all – folks know when you are faking it.
So thank you Granny, Mom and Anna for the positive examples to emulate. I can only imagine how much better our world would be in 2021 (and beyond) if more of us got over ourselves and our self-interests and followed your examples of loving our neighbors and doing unto others as we would have them do unto us.
I would be remiss not to mention the most importance positive influence in my life, my bride Sarah. Once Philadelphia’s top rising lawyer, now she is Hanscom Air Force Base’s top rising mama and President of the Protestant Women of the Chapel, where she helps build a community of matriarchs and military spouses for an eternal cause. Her daily sacrifices for our family and community are inspiring and will last for generations to come. What matters to us is our faith, family, and connecting with our neighbors. We like to exercise, cook and read together.
What matters to you? What about your teammates and their families? Who have been the best examples in your life? Have you let them know how much they mean to you?
Take care. I care.